approval from others
Don't focus on getting approval from others

We spend a lot of our energy thinking about what others think of us, and that shapes the way we act and present ourselves to the world. Do we really need to think about what others think of us?

We spend a lot of our energy thinking about what others think of us, and that shapes the way we act and present ourselves to the world. Do we really need to think about what others think of us?

Paritosh Pundir


Founder of DoRemember... πŸš€ Helping people solve problems through πŸ‘¨πŸ»β€πŸ’» CODE, 🎨 DESIGN & πŸ–‹ WORDS


Actions to take

  • Every month write about an ideal version of yourself
  • Assess how close are you to your ideal self
  • Every day write things that you are grateful for


Expanded perspective

Every single day we are around people, we care about and who care about us. It is easy to see yourself from their eyes and try to push to be good in their eyes, to be what they want us to be. But, do we need approval from others to be what we are?

Trust yourself

There is only one person that knows you the most, and that is you. You know your best and the worst, no matter how much close someone is to you, the information that they have about you is with gaps.

It is ok to want people to like you, but don’t let your decisions and presence be driven by your perception of what others are thinking about you. You can’t please everyone. If you are putting in the effort to please people and not able to please everyone, all the effort is worthless. So stop trying to please others, waiting to get approval from others and do what you think is right for the situation.

Most people in your life come in phases, their outlook towards you will not matter in the long run. The things that matter is what you think of yourself and how you want to present yourself to the world.

Start focusing on yourself and your own values to present yourself to the world.

Next time you find yourself struggling with a thought about what someone will think of you, say it aloud, β€œI know who I am and I don’t worry about what others think of me.

Learn to keep learning and take control of your decisions

When you focus on learning and believe that there are a lot of things to learn, you are not burdened with the need to know everything. You feel less offended in situations where you are not the smartest. Instead, situations like these help you expand your knowledge.

With this eagerness to learn, you will be able to take more well-informed decisions.

There is a small difference between taking control of your decisions and making rash decisions. If you rush into decisions without exploring or learning more about the details, the probability of making good decisions decreases.

Have people you can rely on

More often than not you will need someone to push you, to tell you that you are good enough and make you feel good about yourself. Have people you listen to and can trust in making decisions for you or at least giving you the right suggestions. 

But at the end of the day, they have their own decisions and struggles that they are going through. They will be there to support you and help you make the decisions but they can’t fully decide for you as your situation is unique to you. Based on their experiences they can suggest a path, but there is no surety that the suggested path will work for you.

Be humble

Be humble about the things that you have, the position, the power, the skills, or anything that makes you better at certain things.

With so much focus on the self, it is very important to not forget that everyone is working on their lives as you are. Respect others for what they are and what they have, you are no lesser or no superior to anyone.

Take away

Your point of focus should be internal and not external.Β Don’t wait for approval from others to take action towards the things that matter to you. You are the owner of the life that you have envisioned for yourself, you are in control, it is the perfect time to take actions and step forward.